Simon Ludgate Director, writer and producer for television, and exorcist.

Thursday 1st Feb 2019 / digital voice recorder

Simon has lived in London for thirty five years. Whilst conducting this interview he pointed to one of the nearby buildings (in the photograph), and told me a man had jumped off the roof of his £18,000,000 home. “He’s still there,” he said. Simon believes that London needs more exorcists, but he told me he could not do this work full-time, as it’s too exhausting.

I first met Simon in a house just off Wimbledon Common, at a mediumship workshop in the house of Angela Watkins, a senior psychic from the London College of Psychic Studies. Simon is a psychic and healer, who works with angelic energy.

Can you introduce yourself?

“I am a television director, a professional drone pilot, and being a typical Gemini, I have several other strings to my bow. I am a Reiki Master, I have Reiki clients who come to me for healing, and I work as an exorcist. Unlike some people, I do introduce myself a parties as an exorcist.”

Does London need more exorcists?

Yes, Definitely.

Could you work as an exorcist full time?

“I certainly could, there’s certainly enough demand for it. I couldn’t do it every day, it takes too much out of you. I overdid it about eighteen months ago. I think picked up something really nasty, which I’m not going to talk about it, because every time I talk about it, it comes back. Erm, where I basically couldn’t walk for six months. It was really horrible. Either someone was sticking pins in me, or I think more likely that I picked up something nasty from where we went. Very interesting story, which I am not going to tell you.”

Do you think there needs to be more awareness of the supernatural that can disrupt people’s homes and lives?

“Yes. Because, otherwise you’re not playing with a full deck. This happens all the time. Science and spiritualty split in the fifteenth century when Da Vinci was around, and they’ve been driven apart ever since. It’s a tragedy because, in very successful older society like the Egyptians, the two went hand in hand, and they should because, it makes us more effective. Because when this is taken away from you, when you’re denied the information, and actually told that you’re imagining things, or that you’re crazy, or there’s nothing there, you know, Satan – hits out-in-the-park. It’s great for business, because it makes it much easier for the adversary (as the Kabbala calls it) to operate, because all the time you are in denial of its presence, it can operate freely. It’s like hatred and lying, and fake news. They [negative entities] can all function much more effectively when there’s an absence of information and awareness. I think it’s terrible that people are kept in the dark in the way that they are.”

How should people best protect their children?

“Loads of children go missing from care. You can actually google what goes on at different times of year, and what Satanists need. Sometimes it’s blood. They’re sold to satanic covens for sacrifice, and disappearance increase around satanic festivals.”

Have you heard of the Church of England’s, Ministry for Deliverance?

“I have, because you just told me about it, but I have been aware for years of the theoretical presence of a priest who was charged with exorcism for every diocese. They might not have one in this diocese, but they’ll be able to access one. If you talk to the Roman Catholic Church about all of this, they’ll say how busy they all are. And actually, if you try to get someone to come and see you, you’re talking weeks, or even months, before they turn up. Bit like the NHS, where you die before the time you are treated. Someone like me is available, and I admit I do charge a lot of money for it, because I need to live, but financial transactions are a healthy thing, because it’s an exchange of energy. Money is energy. We use money as a form of energy. When you charge people a lot of money, they get a sense of what you do because actually it saves their marriages: they sell the house they can’t sell for twelve million quid, which happened to a client of mine a couple of years ago. Couldn’t sell it, because prospective buyers complained about the atmosphere, the property was on with three different very big estate agents. I came, and worked on the house. I chucked out some very expensive artefacts, which were horrible in terms of energy. We left one on the Buddhist monument on Battersea Park. While he was gaily burning another one made from zebra tails on the fire, I asked him, how much they cost, and he said £20,000. Didn’t bat an eyelid.”

What’s a demon?

“A demon is a form of energy. They are hugely sentient. I would differentiate between a demon, and a poltergeist.” 

On what secrets he thinks London hides.

“I think you need to think about the Secret Societies. The Crowley thing has followed me wherever I’ve gone.”

You are studying the Kabbalah aren’t you? How’s that going?

Absolutely fascinating because without realising it, I’ve developed a belief system that pretty much marries up to the Kabbalah, which is based on doing unto others, as you would have them do to yourself, which is the simple basis of it, described as being mystic Judaism. It’s treated with a certain amount of suspicion by Jews for some reason, because they’ve been brought up being taught that it’s something that is incredibly esoteric, and you need to have a really deep understanding of Judaism, to be able to study it. You don’t. The Cabbalists will say the same thing. All my teachers were Jews, and were experts on Jewish culture and religion, which does help. It is treated with suspicion by the Jews, and it really helped me. It’s actually the only non-sectarian judgemental organised belief system I’ve ever come across, because it’s not a religion. It’s based on stuff that’s just offered to you from the instructors of the universe. I came to the conclusion that there is an angelic structure where the archangels sat above the angels, and that the archangels were representative of the divine such as archangel Metatron, which does comply with how they see it as well in terms of the angelic structure.

I’m not aware that exorcism is part of the kabbalah, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t, because it crops up in every single culture around the world. In Islam they are terrified of demons, and in Christianity obviously, so why should we be? It definitely comes into Judaism, and the study of the Torrah.”

Do you agree that Britain is the most corrupt country I the world? https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/when-a-mafia-expert-tells-us-britain-is-the-most-corrupt-country-in-the-world-its-time-to-start-a7057686.html

“I can’t really say. I’m not an expert on that. I was in a meeting in the Foreign Office with MI5, MI6, and Scotland Yard, which was why I signed the Official Secrets Act. I’ve signed it twice actually, and my wife but I can’t tell you why. The Turkish are the most feared, because they are the hardest to break, because they know that if they give anything away, they whole family will be wiped out. Which is what happens in most cases but they know it.”

I asked him if there was anything he wanted to add. Simon smiled, he was happy with what we had covered.

If you want to know more about Simon, you can visit his website, http://www.simonludgate.com, or read his novel, Gabriel’s Lyre, (2014) which is for sale on Amazon.

I had the idea to write this blog while studying an MA in Creative Writing, where I had already decided to put my strange experiences into tales of Fiction. In this blog, I will not overly rely on or quotes from druids, shamans, and experts in this field but I will stick, as much as possible, to my own experiences.

The quickest and easiest way to dispel fear or anxiety is to pray.

In Islam, demons are Jinns. In Christianity, demons are the horned and hoofed type. In the supernatural, daemons can be all manner of things. In the bible, the devil is a deceiver. Thus, all of his ministers are experts on deception. They approach children in a guise of play. They approach adults offering help when we are desperate, when we are our knees in a relationship, struggling financially, spiritually, or with addiction. They offer rewards and make deals. Never get involved in dark Magick no matter how desperate you are. Sometimes, the people who suffer demons in their home, have previously invited them in and forgotten over time why they were so daft. We are weakened, and made vulnerable to demons through drugs, alcohol, fear, anger, disappointment, competition, and sometimes because we have (through no fault of our own) had medical surgery, where we were anesthetised, and lost consciousness. 

Sternum and Sacrum

Another way to dispel fear (or anger) is to put a hand on your sternum, in the middle of your chest area. I do not believe this is occult. It can be mystical because of the experience it can create, but there is no harm in placing your own healing hands on yourself – anywhere. If it creates a mystical experience then, that is you – that is nothing to do with these instructions. That is your privilege. Use the moment to pray. One of the famous sayings of Jesus was, to love your neighbour as yourself. The sternum protects the heart, lungs and major blood vessels. Putting our hands on your sternum, connects us to our body, and reassures us that we are safe. It is the first place our hand reaches for when we get a fright. It is a bit like saying, I am OK , I am safe, and I am loved.

Yes – you can explore the chakras, energy centres, and systems in the body but, the quickest and easiest way to feel whole, and to feel at peace, is to put your hand (or hands) on you sternum. The sternum protects the heart and lungs, so it is appropriate that we can draw strength from this area.

Likewise, the sacrum is another collective of bones, which derives its name from ‘holy’ because in a woman it is associated with fertility. The sacrum is sacred because it protects the womb and ovaries. The sacral vertebrae (S1 -S5) fuse between the ages of 18-30. Thus, providing support for our body, and our life ahead. The fusing of these vertebra sets us on our individual path.

Placing your hands on both of these vital areas bring us home.

Placing your hands on both of these vital areas bring us home, by uniting the heart energy with our backbone therefore creating courage. I believe these two areas, the sacrum and sternum, are both temples that we can focus on when we are distressed.

We all have the innate ability to heal others and ourselves, because we all have the capacity to love.

When someone is distressed, we put our arms around him or her. When a child falls over, and hurts herself, we cradle her. I am not discussing miracles here. Healing does not require initiation or imitating a system of rules. That these rules worked for one person – does not necessarily mean that they will be equally successful for you. Healing does not require symbols, rituals or chants.

Exorcism however, is an entirely different experience and should be treated with a conscious mind and with respect for both the practitioner and the suffering. I believe we need Christian Mystics. People trained in silence, and the art of listening. These people could act like counsellors, who help us to renew our connection to God. This type of healing would be preventative. These mystics would heal simply by benevolence. I also believe that healing and forgiveness is achieved by raising one’s own benevolence by avoiding toxic substances, and cruel people. Both are hard to achieve overnight, but can be short-term or long-term goals.

I had to run away from a toxic relationship. I had to create my own personal get-out clause, because I knew my partener would not accept that I wanted to leave him. After two years of crying into Martini Rosso, I packed my car to the roof, and drove two hundred miles to do a Post Graduate course in secondary teaching. I had no friends, no money, and I was not on speaking terms with my family (which is why I stayed I the relationship for so long). As human beings, we need to know that life can be different when it becomes hard. Emotions, relationships, work or financial situations can all be resolved if we ask for help. However, do not leave it too late. ASK. A job or partner does not define who we are, and yet they can suck the life out of us. The first step in any healing process is to ask for help.

Know yourself. Love yourself. Heal yourself.

The Dagara author and teacher, Malidoma Patrice Somé says PURPOSE is the foundation of human life, it deletes randomness, provides meaning, recognition, and serves to keep the intuition alive.

Purpose keeps you on the same wavelength as your pets, your plants and loved ones. It does not matter if you follow a conventional route, or an alternative one but keep your wits about you. There are many charlatans in the New Age movement, many people parading themselves as healers and spiritual know-it-alls. Who are they really? They are no better or higher than you or me. They are pretending to know. How can they know more than you? We all have the same limitations. No one has any more activated DNA than the next person. The only people to seek out, or sit in the presence of, are enlightened people, but even with these beings, you need to find the right fit for you. If something does not feel right, seek another. My father visited an enlightened person who told him his enlightened energy was too strong for him, and that he needed a gentler presence. That was good, honest advice. When I met this particular being, I was nearly sick, and my head felt like it had been hit by a hammer. He was too strong for me.

Be on your own, unplug your telly, and ditch social media

How can you develop intuition? Consciously chose to spend time on your own, unplug your telly and ditch social media. I know that I do not need to come up with a system, or set of beliefs. Everything I need is already with me.

If you have practised magic, let that magic be a stepping-stone to a place where you do not need it. All New Age thinking and approaches open doors. It opens doors in our psyche, our hearts, our minds, our auras, and in our hearts, but for almost everyone this is not a good thing, because it leaves us open and vulnerable. I realise now that I walked around with a huge aura for years, and consequently felt utterly space-out. I was unable to have lasting healthy relationships, I was frequently visited by supernatural entities, and I had trouble sleeping and concentrating.

“Anger in an engine is powerful. It can drive as forward; it can get us through the dreadful moments and give us real inner power.” Scila Elworthy

Psychic Investigation

If you are afraid, it is a good idea to write down your fears, no matter how absurd they may appear and rationalise them.  At a talk with Professor Donald Hutton, an academic who has done extensive research on witches and Druids, he explained that the witch trials in Early Modern Europe, from the 15^th – 17^th centuries were driven by hysteria, but that there is nothing more distressing than the illness, or the death of a child. The belief in (and fear of) someone who has the capacity to harm children, is all consuming. Today that fear is acute. After fear, anger is the emotion that grips me. Once we realised that it’s OK to feel this emotion we can feel courage.

If you decide to investigate a friend’s house, go with an open mind. If you start to feel ill before you go, get a headache, feel cold, be warned that something already knows you are on your way. Drive diligently. Wear a black crystal on your person; Say a prayer into it for protection, breath shamanic breath onto it. Ask whoever protects you, your power animal or guardians to create shield around you. If you get there, and it’s all too much, too scary ,and perhaps you feel out of your depth – stick to your plan. Even if the odds are stacked against you – if you have a plan, stick to it. Do what you came to do, because I can almost guarantee, that you will not be on your own, and that you will have company in the form of those spirits who want to watch and help. Then, if your intuition is telling you to embellish – go for it.

Don’t run away or crack, because it could be a ghost or entity interfering. Someone, or something, doesn’t want you to succeed. The ghost (or entity) could be protecting its patch, its agenda, and it is baffling you. Stay grounded, do your stuff and leave. If you can’t help the situation, bottle your pride, feel that embarrassment and ASK FOR HELP.

Be true to yourself

If you can’t help someone – be honest. If you go to someone’s house, and you are out of your depth, Leave! If you tremble and are physically hit, protect yourself, give it your best shot and get out of there. There is no need to pretend you’re a super hero. Maybe the ghost is a woman who was murdered by a man and if you parade into that house with all your masculine heat and pride, she’ll freak. Maybe she needs a woman to sit with her, talk to her, understand her and help her move on. Maybe a different ghost doesn’t like women and maybe he’ll put up a stronger fight with a man that leave him vulnerable. Some ghosts don’t know they’re dead. That was a shock to me. And an even harder truth to convey to the said, dead person.

Don’t knock what you’ve inherited and keep your wits about you

We live in a world of deadlines, and maps where we use 2% of our brains, where we are all trying to find our place in the world. We need to look at the world – our here and now, and if we still can’t work out our place in it, or what our perfect job is, we simply need to do what we are good at. If can use our intuition to help find your place in the world, we can bring our past, present and future together.

We need to teach our children to be sensitive human beings, in touch with their emotions and to trust their intuition. Schools are teaching Mindfulness but I wonder if for most children this is preaching to the converted. Children are already mindful, very aware of their environment, and very aware of the negative news, and influences. The negative news in the headlines, and on my television screen, led to my depression at the age of fourteen. I was one of those very aware children who felt and saw presences, and secretly acknowledged a world that others did not. Mindfulness is only the first step, support networks, community and family are more important. I could not compartmentalise the Ethiopian famine that was constantly on the television, I could not understand why celebrities had to sing, Save The World, I couldn’t understand why we needed nuclear bombs. What was wrong with the world? I have from a very young age, known that all is not well in the world, and that few of us are realising our potential. I am the sort of person who knows there is more to life than this. At fourteen I was on sleeping tablets and anti-depressants. Psychology sessions did nothing for me. They only pushed me further inside of myself and increased my barriers.

Sometimes, something magical happens when I am with a friend. It is always when we are one-to-one, when no one else is present, and when the other person is talking his or her truth. It is a rare occurrence. Most people try to fool us into the mask that they need us to see, but occasionally it happens when a friend relaxes, allows their barriers to drop, and just chats away to me – it is not even that they are sharing something of great importance – when I experience an atmospheric change. I have always had this experience, but up until recently, I did not know what it meant. In the past, I put it down to Spirit. I think it is Spirit, but it is more than that, it is the two of us opening a window to be real, and in the moment. I do not believe that it is just me making this happen. I believe it is an honest, co-creative space that generates light.

The first thing I notice is the light in the room changes. Then I think to myself, Here we go. . . The light and darkness in the room increases simultaneously. I have no idea how that is possible. The room becomes so bright and yet so dark, and my perception of space changes. It is as if the room expands, walls disappear, yet we are held by the light – contained. I wonder if it is my pupils dilating, but I am never aware of an intense feeling of love for example, prior to this strange, and lovely happening. Even now, I am only guessing at the meaning of this, and I think that if someone else were to give me an explanation, it would put it into a box. I do not believe in giving everything a label. Every part of life is an opportunity to wake up, to feel and listen. It must be part of my life purpose to piece this magical puzzle together.

When I see, hear or feel the supernatural world, I do not put it down to my imagination (and I have a full-on imagination when I need it) rather, I question what it is. I have a very inquisitive mind, and I do not shy away from ghosts or demons – I face them. In that moment, I grasp my senses – rationalising WHAT it is. I think as objectively as the moment allows. If am scared, then obviously the experience is subjective. If I cannot rationalise what is happening, or come up with a logical explanation, then I allow it to be what it is, a supernatural experience.

Love brings us closer to our friends, family, nature and pets but it does something incredible too: it separates us from that which does not belong to us – from negative, base energies. Love elevates us, expands us and conversely – fear, hate and jealousy divide. Love reveals hidden truths. Love’s truth is in it healing. Division is not always a bad thing. Cell division happens all the time.  It is also true that entities come to test us. They test our love and resilience, to seek out our weak spots such as jealously, fear or hatred, and aim to create mayhem.

Before I went to school aged five, I was so unimpressed with people. The left side of my mouth would curl up. It’s quite funny to think that at such a young age I was miffed at adult’s perception of the world. I didn’t have a competitive streak in me, I was certainly pessimistic, but very aware. Maildome Patrice Somé told me that one of the reasons (that as an adult) I don’t enjoy life is because of the lack of magical, spiritual, and shamanic ritual in our society. He was right. One of the things I have always done to combat the numbed-down plane we live on, is to surround myself with beautiful things. My house is wall-to-wall with paintings and drawings. My family could never understand why I didn’t try harder to sell my paintings but I needed to be around the colour and expression.

Visitors

I am not an expert on ritual (and I don’t wish to be) but the other day, I noticed that the first thing I do when I feel a presence, is light a candle. I was eating a bowl of soup in the kitchen, and became aware of a presence behind me. I lit the candle on the table and moved round to the other side so that I could face whatever it was. It was then I realised that this was a tall man with long dark hair. It was someone I knew from over twenty years ago who had passed away. If you are alone and you feel something, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is something or someone bad. I had felt very uncomfortable with him leaning over me, but once I moved, I was fine with his presence.

Sometimes, when people I know die, they pay me a visit. The first time I noticed this, I was living in a small flat with a beaded curtain to separate my bedroom from the kitchen. The windows were closed, and I had just got into my bed. The beaded curtain moved and tinkled as if someone had joined me. For some reason, I was not scared. I had a good feeling that someone just wanted to say a tender hello and goodbye all at the same time. I put out my hand, and someone held it. I had the feeling it was a man. Still I felt comfortable, so I stayed in my bed and breathed deeply, closed my eyes and did my very best to stay in the moment. Days later my mum told me that a male family relative had passed away.

The next time it happened, I had finished work for the day, I opened the door to the same flat, the sun was streaming in through the windows, and immediately I knew someone was there and they’d been waiting on me. Again, the feeling was warm and happy. I did what I always do, and I lit a candle, but this time I put it in the exact spot where I felt the presence. This was a young man, very friendly who needed to say goodbye. It wasn’t until some weeks later when I went out for a walk with my ex-boyfriend that he told me terrible news. A friend in Cheshire had killed himself. I was so upset. My heart broke knowing that he’d especially come to see me in Somerset. The strange thing was, that when I had last seen him, I had known as he walked away from me that – he was going to die. I had always felt guilty that maybe I could have done more to help him, but although I was giving healing sessions, I felt that his schizophrenia was way out of my depth. I was frightened of what might happen in a session, but still, I should have offered him healing, and it is something I regret. I think when he passed he must have felt my guilty conscience, because he stayed with me for a long time admiring what I had done to flat, the colour I had painted the walls, and the décor, because we shared artistic  views.  

Years later I was in a different house, one that was very haunted, and gave us a horde of problems, so I was not very receptive when I felt an older lady in the upstairs hallway watching me with my daughter who was about two years old. I glowered at her, and asked her straight away who she was, because I was in no mood for games. An image came into my mind of my mum’s cousin but I didn’t make the link (I can be incredibly slow). Why was I seeing her face? And yes, you guessed it, days later my mum told me the sad truth that, she had passed away too.

The simplest ritual – is to burn a candle. Always have a candles and matches at home. I have never smoked, but always made a point of collecting lighters, or souvenir match boxes whenever I go on holiday. I believe that we are never ever on our own. I talk to myself all the time . . . No, it’s not a sign of madness. When you start thinking about someone who you haven’t heard from in a long time – that’s never a coincidence. Most of the time, it’s because they are thinking about you. Light a candle, and wish them well. I often light a candle when I write, to honour my ancestors, my grandparents, and my dad, but it is my aim one day – is to BE that candle, that light of the ancestral flame who expresses knowledge, truth and love.

Listen to the children

Children are born pure spiritual beings. They arrive from source, from light. Perhaps we could say that they are enlightened beings. They bring with them all the love and wisdom from our ancestors. If you have ever sat silently with a baby (pre-speech) you can feel this. What is it? I think it is pure spirit. It is the most fantastic experience. That is why families like to meet a new baby, why we like to hold a baby, why they are passed around because when they are passed from uncle to grandmother, they are in reality spreading the news, that they are back and they are bringing love.

Children are clairvoyant until they are three years of age. I was told this by Peter Aziz, a hereditary shaman, but I know this because I experienced it. I will only write about what I know. When we read a novel or watch a film, we are able to suspend our disbeliefs (our critical faculties), and believe something surreal. Children on the other hand cannot. In the Montessori approach to learning, children should only watch animation or read fiction once their big teeth have come in, because only when they are five or six years of age, are they able to differentiate between make-believe, and what is real. I have difficulty suspending my disbelief when I am watching a film. If I am scared or uncomfortable with the subject matter, I often have to turn down the volume, or leave the room.

If children are listened to by non-judgmental parents, then there is much to be learned on both sides. Up until the age of five, if they see a green monster in telly, and then see a green monster in their bedroom, both experiences are truly terrifying and no parent is going to believe that there is indeed a demon on the ceiling if it fits with something they have just read or watched. As a parent, that’s a huge mistake to make. Listen to your children. If they are scared, find out what is frightening them because it could well be a real phenomenon. Don’t indulge them, but listen with an open mind. Oh really, where did you see /hear that? Is it still there? Can you still hear it? If they can, remove them from the situation, or sleep in the same room.

Protection

The reason for children being able to see things that we cannot, is that they do not have auric protection as adults do. They are vulnerable. I am not trying to frighten. I am trying to wake-up people to the supernatural world. If we do not believe our children, or accept that we can only see a small percent of the visual spectrum, we are choosing to live, quite literally in the dark. We need to stop beleiving that because we cannot see, what children and shamans see – that nothing else exists. If your child is having night terrors, or repetitive nightmares, either put them in a different room, stay with them, and ask for help from a Chaplin or pay an exorcist. The amount of fear you invest in this can hinder you. If you are too scared to ask for help, then everyone in your family will suffer. As adults, we are here to protect and love children. It is a crucial role. If you are terrified, you need to take back your power by confronting whatever it is that is causing unease, and instruct them to get out of your house. To use clichés – stand tall, take deep breaths, learn how to ground yourself, repeat the Lord ’s Prayer (or whatever is your natural inclination, or true religion). Prayer is wonderfully effective. It calms us, protects and helps to create an atmosphere of reason where before there was panic.

There are two types of people, those who can’t stand being on their own, and those who need time alone, to walk through town, or to be in the garden. Capricorns for example need company, so there’s not much point spending all your money on them because they value your company. Cancerians, for example are more likely to be aware of the supernatural because they are used to their own rhythms, listening to their own thoughts, and doing their own thing. When something that doesn’t fit the intrinsic routine of themselves, they are acutely aware of it. They might see a person who walks slightly differently, a face at a window, an obscure smell, an odd sound, or it could be a feeling that something is awry. My mum for instance (a Taurean), did not start to experience anything supernatural, until after my dad passed away, and once she was living on her own, and in a different house. The world is so full of distractions and noise – that we rarely hear or feel what is immediately present, and therefore we are unaware of what could be influencing us.

I have often wondered why did so many bad things happen to me and why I have had so many supernatural experiences ? A yoga teacher once told me that everything that happens in life is due to resonance, which left me feeling utterly deflated, because reasoned that – I must have crap resonance. We can look at resonance like this – if someone has a disease, there is a disturbance in the body. I have always believed that illness as psychosomatic: we get flu when we’ve just had enough of stressful work, we get a cold when we are tired. If we go beyond ideas of resonance, we understand that illness (like our shadow selves), have something very important to tell us.

My daughter taught me many things, one of which was resonance. She showed me when I was reading the situation wrong, when I didn’t show enough patience, and when I was not responding to her needs. Being a parent is the hardest thing to do in the whole world, and it is a vital opportunity to grow as a person. As adults, we have needs too, but our needs, for a while, take a back seat.

Don’t use labels

Unless you are happy to stand by the title of shaman, witch, druid, heathen, pagan, occultist or medium, and take the blows with the praise – don’t use a label. There’s no need to put yourself into a box. We are not labels or titles, we are much bigger than that – we are also more humble. Our consciousness includes other people’s consciousness, the consciousness of our pets and plants. Why condense that precious awareness into something that can be used to hurt you. If you don’t say to yourself, – I AM THIS or I am that, you are free to be a daddy one moment, and a sorcerer the next, if that’s your choice. Or you are free to participate in nothing that opens the door to the occult. I have always been the type of person who draws energy towards me. By that, I mean dark and light energies. In my experience the best place to find benevolence, is in nature.

The problem about fairies, elves or angels is that at some point, one has to consider the other side. Evil entities. Most people would rather not think about those things. However, to deny their existence is very dangerous, and makes hypocrites of all parents who make their children believe in Father Christmas, Jack Frost or the Sleep Fairy. We bring up our children to believe in lies, and then wonder why they are angry at the system that has procured them, and why there are disillusioned, or depressed as teenagers. Then we are upset when our children do not respect us, or listen to us.

Can we all honestly say that we listened and believed our children, when they were scared in the middle of the night, when they were going to sleep, when they said they felt something crawl on them, or move around in their head, or worse, hurt them? We must listen to our children, for they are our barometers. I was not that worried, or concerned about the supernatural in my life, until it started to affect my daughter.

It was only then, when after doing shamanic banishing rituals, casting circles, and drawing pentagrams in the air, and saying the Lord’s Prayer that I became truly angry, frustrated and frightened. It was only when my daughter reached the age of about three that I swallowed my pride, admitted that I did not know everything, and reached out to a Priest.

This is the second greatest misconception that I had, (the first being that I was OK, knew almost all there was to know about the supernatural, and could protect myself) that someone of the cloth would not understand me.

The apprehension I felt when I approached the Priest (who fortunately was my next-door neighbour, and friend) dispelled, when I admitted defeat, and asked for his help. I started by saying that, hundreds of years ago, I was the sort of person whom the Church would have burnt at the stake, because I had medium-ship skills. His eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he laughed, but when I explained what was going on, he began to join the dots, and was incredibly non-judgmental.

Amongst other things, I had experienced a type of (for lack of a better word) Nazi in our house. The man wore a long, black leather coat, uniform and hat, and seemed to come into the house from the East. I often felt him, and psychically saw him, near to the downstairs bathroom, where I had often seen the ghost of a little boy. The man was very arrogant and evil, and mocked me when I tried to get him to go away using a powerful wand and staff for protection. Admittedly, I was suffering from lack of sleep as my daughter never slept through the night until she was three and a half years old, but lack of sleep alters one’s perception. It is used as a method of torture, but it also initiates visions. Not only was I doolally, I was also desperately trying to protect my daughter.

A few days before the Priest came into my house, a letter arrived addressed to a German person. I researched the surname, and freaked out. There was a notorious Nazi from the second World War with this surname. Never did I assume that the previous occupants to our house had been like-minded, but I received this piece of information as a wake-up call. (To this day, I do not know if there was even any connection between the previous occupants and the presence in our house. At the time, I did not need to know, I just wanted him gone.)

Father K (I won’t give his actual name) however, knew that I was picking-up on something, and he said to me,  just because I was seeing things that no one else saw – that didn’t mean those things weren’t there. This was a point of personal liberation for me. To be accepted, and forgiven. I had never spoken to anyone of Christian authority about my experiences for fear: Fear of being labelled a witch, fear of being persecuted, of being hated, fear of being feared.

Dressed in his clergy gear, and with his book of rituals, my husband and I joined the Priest on the floor of the living room for prayer. Then he walked round the whole house, sprinkled holy water, and prayed in every room. I finally felt safe.